Trip to Poland

3 Bar Ilan Street

Holon

July 2, 2006

Mrs. Gilat Simon

Principle's Office

Hayim Kugel School

Mota Gor 1 Street

Holon

Dear Madam,

For the past few years, it has been a tradition on this school to go on a trip to Poland with the intent to strenthen our Jewish heritage and to better acquinte ourselves with our Jewish history. However, one problomatic issue is the high price.

There are several reasons why the high price of the trip constitutes a problem. First of all, in addition to the high rate, we also have to pay for the school trips we have during the year, which most of the rime are very expensive too. Also, it is important to remember thatr we are talking about high schhol students that can not help their parents to pay those prices, since most of them do not have a job.

(Why haven't you completed this letter in your blog? You were supposed to copy your written letter, which I checked, into your blog....)

Daphna.

George Stoyonovich

If you have read the story "Summers Reading", you must know George, the main character. George Stoyonovich, which in German means remains in one place, is twenty years old . He is a young man who dropped out of school when he was sixteen since he did not like people to tell him what to do. Along the story George goes into mental and ethical changes.

George Stoyonovich is a poor 20 year old neighborhood boy who lives in a poor New-York neighborhood. Since George dropped out of school, he finds it very difficult to find a good job, that can grant him good money. George does not go out of his house often and most of the time he spends staying in his house, cleaning and reading his older sister's magazines. His sister is the closest person George has ever known. She is the only one that really works in the family and earns money and from time to time she gives him a little money so he can buy himself something. George does not have a mother because she died when he was very young and his father does not function as a role model like a father should function.

Stoyonovich has a lot of problems. on the one hand, he has social problems. Stoyonovich has no friends. He is very shy and most of the time he avoids talking with people. Every night he goes out of the house and stars walking in the streets. On the other hand, Stoyonovich has a lot of personality problems. He is very lazy and immature. He is very impatient. He becomes sick of every thing he does very fast. Despite his problems, at the end of the story he undergoes a tranformation and starts reading books, some thing he had never done before. This change happened thanks to the help of The Change Maker , Mr. Cattanzara. He is the only one who shows interest in George's life, except for his sister, Sophie. Mr. Cattanzara entrenches in George some common sense that without education he will not succeed in his life.

At the beginning of the story, I did not think George could undergo a tranformation. I did not see George as a person I could identify with. I, unlike George, am not a lazy person. I have always worked hard to achieve my goals. Therefore, this character is very important to me, and the ending of the story, where George does bring himself to change, has left me with a smile of contentment. However. I started to like George at the point where he showed interest in education. Therefore, at the end of the story when George undergoes a tranformation, I find him to be very much like me and this is the reason why George is my favorite character in the story "A Summer's Reading".

Very good work, although it's a bit too long for an essay.

(90)

Daphna

Marley & Me

I have recently read a book called "Marley and Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog". This book is a New York Times bestselling autobiographical book by journalist John Grogan, that was published in 2005. generally, I really love this book for the reasons it is funny(phr.) and this is a must-read for anyone who has ever loved a pet. Marley & Me, however, is for more than pet people. I recommend it for anyone who enjoys a good story.

John and Jenny Grogan, a new caple(sp.) that(מיותר) (had) just moved from the brutal Michigan winters and relocate(gr. - use the past) to a cottage in southern Florida, where they are hired as reporters for competing newspapers. At The Palm Beach Post, Jenny immediately receives prominent front-page assignments, while at the South Florida Sun Sentinel, John finds himself writing obituaries and two-paragraph articles about mundane news, like a fire at the local garbage dump. John's friend advises him to adopet a dog to see if they're ready to raise a family. Than(sp.) came Marley. Marley is a yellow Labrador Retriever. Marley, a wiggly yellow furball of a puppy who immediately proves to be incorrigible. They bring him to Ms. Kornblut, who firmly believes any dog can be trained, but when Marley refuses to obey commands, she expels him from her class. Marley continues to wreak havoc on the household, providing John with a wealth of material for his column, which becomes a hit with readers and helps increase the newspaper's circulation. Jenny becomes pregnant, but loses the baby early in her first trimester.- This very long paragraph has to be divided into two seperate paragraphs.

In my opinion this book is an amazing book that, as I said, every(ww. - any) one who loves pet(s) should read. So Yes, there are plenty of dog stories or pet sroties if you want to read, and yes, Grogan contends that there is a lot we can learn from our pets. The story is, however, so honest and well-written that I believe it will resonate with pet lovers and pet-deprived people alike.

Clearly, you haven't used you own words and style for the most part of this essay, and that's too bad. it is your writing that I want to read. It's fine to look for help in various sources of information, but using it throughout your whole essay is not right.

Daphna

Food Manufacturers

For the past few years, nutritionists like Alice Brown has been claimed(gr.) that people need to be more responsible for what they eat and to eat more healthy food, such as vegetables and vitamin supplements. Alice Brown sais(sp.) that there is a definited(gr.) connection between people's behavior and what they eat or don't eat. This leads us to the question, whether food manufacturers sould(sp.) be held responsible for producing healthier food, or not.

First, I personaly think that manufacturers sould(sp.) not be held responsible for producing healthier food since the food that the manufacturers producing(gr.) is legal and they have the right to produce this food. Furthemore, avoiding(ww.) the manufacturers from producing their food can leads(gr.) to an aconimical(sp.) problems(gr.) and social problems as well, such as separation the social(phr.) into two classes and more.

Furthermore, People have the right to choose what to eat. The fact that there are people that should eat more healthy food, such as vegetables and vitamins, can't avoid us(phr.), the other consumers, to eat and buy the food we like to eat. In other words, I believe that people that want to eat healty(sp.) food sould(sp.) buy a(מיותר) special food for them and sould(sp.) not abstain(ww.) us from having variety of food(phr.).

In conclusion, I believe that blamming the food manufacturers for producing (a) selection of food(s), that includes unhealthy food is wrong and not necessary. In addition, I suggest that all the people that want to eat healty food sould(sp.) have a special schedule(what?) that includes the food they can eat from the tremendous food selection.

You have quite a lot to correct. Please read my remarks and correct your work accordingly.
(70)
Daphna

A letter to a editor

4 Buber Martin Street
Holon
September 19, 2009

The Editor

P.O Box 457

Tel Aviv

The article that I have read "Israel - The leading in the Cancer of the lymph gland" and had published in "Ynet" deals with the problem of the lymph gland Cancer, specially in Israel . The level of morbidity in Israel by Cancer of the lymph gland, also known as Hodgkin lymphoma disease, amongst young people is one of the highest in the world. The approximated reason for this Cancer is late exposure to childhood diseases such as Measles and Infectious mononucleosis.

Hodgkin lymphoma is a terrible disease that, unlike other types, affects also young people between the ages of 15-35. This issue makes it more tragic since young people are also at risk. Personally, I am scared because this disease more common among men. Therefor, I believe that it's important to pay attention to your body, and if you feel pain in your neck, armpits or other parts of your body, go to the doctor!

In my opinion, in the 21^st century we must make in a point to find a cure, not only to Hodgkin lymphoma, but to all kinds of Cancer. Furthermore, parents must be aware of the fact that Cancer doesn't happen to all people.

In conclusion, being aware of the risk, keeping a healthy life style and visiting the doctor regularly may insure your health at any age.

Yours Truly,
Meni Monet

(85)

Daphna

Cancer

The level of morbidity in Israel by Cancer of the lymph gland, also known as Hodgkin lymphoma disease, amongst young people is one of the highest in the world. The approximated reason for this Cancer is late exposure to childhood diseases such as Measles and Infectious mononucleosis.

Hodgkin lymphoma is a terrible disease that, unlike other types, affects also young people between the ages 15-35. This isue makes it more tragic since young people are also at risk.

Personally, I am scared because this disease is more common among men. Therefor I believe that it's important to pay attention to your body, and if you feel pain in your neck, armpits or other parts of your body, go to the doctor!

In my opinion, in the 21^st century we must make in a point to find a cure, not only to Hodgkin lymphoma, but to all kinds of Cancer. Furthermore, parents must be aware to the fact that Cancer doesn't happen to all people.

In conclusion, being aware of the risk, keeping a healthy life style and visiting the doctor regularly may insure your health at any age.

Link to the article : http://www.ynet.co.il/articles/0,7340,L-3777529,00.html

Very good, but, again, where is the link to your essay?

(90)

Daphna

Are you fat?

It may seem like the right thing to do! A very rotund child goes through Adjustable gastric band surgery. This child goes to loss tens of pounds and gains quality of life and health. However, recently there have been opinions claiming that in Israel they are rushing to operate children and teens, without considering the effects of the surgery on the children's growth and development.

In my opinion, adjustable gastric band surgery may seem like a drastic move for a teenager but it can be a positive decision. It can help fat teens from being embarrassed when they go to school. In addition, this surgery will reduce their appetite which means, in other words, they will eat less and be more healthy.

Being thin all my life, it is difficult for me to relate to those children's situation. Still, I can understand how it is to be different. Therefore, I can understand their desire for "a magic fix"; being overweight means everybody can see how different you are.

In conclusion, I believe that while this move in beneficial it has to me done with parental guidance and with the help of a psychologist in order to make sure that those children are making the right decision for the right reasons.

Link to the artical: ----

Good work, although I can't see the link to your article.
(80)
Daphna
.

School uniforms

School uniforms have been around for decades. However, throughout the years this issue has raised many questions in regards to it's pros and cons.

When duscussing the issue of shcool uniform, one must first relate to the social agenda behind it. School uniforms are ment to disguise and social and economical differences, making everyone look alike. Also, on a personal level, the school uniform can save time in the morning, that would other wise be dedicated to thinking what to wear.

However, school uniforms can also restrict you and limit your personal and individual taste in clothes. Teens often need to express their individuality and making them wear a school uniform can undermine this. Furthemore, schools that wish to encourage their pupils to think independently cannot and should not force a dress code. Personal choise begins with how you choose to present yourself to the world, and when you have to cover it up with a uniform it is like wearing a mask or a disguise.

To conclude, the school uniform might be beneficial when it when it is designed for young children like those in grade school, but for pupils in high scool it causes more damage than good. In my opinion school uniforms should be restricted to grade school only.

Very good essay. Well done!
(92)
Daphna

Burge McCall

Mr. McCall was a short, heavy - set man with a loud voice. He put a(מיותר) grease on his hair and prefume on his handkerchief. In addition, he had a habit of sucking his teeth with his tongue and making a peculiar sound(too many insignificant details). Mrs. McCall was a tall, thin woman with black hair and big black eyes. She always wore her hair parted in the middle and smoothed down on each side. No one knew why Mrs. McCall married Mr. McCall. Some said she married him to get away of the Santa Fe railroad engines.

The couple had a bad marrige in which Mr. McCall used to call his wife names and generaly be very stingy with her. Mrs. McCall, on the other hand, did not respond to his name calling that, in turn lead Mr. McCall to slap her across the face. This slap was the turning point of the plot. Mrs. McCall's reaction was calling her husband "a big rat", telling him he would regret it some day. Later on, Mrs. McCall acquired rat poison in order to kill "a big rat". After Sled the seller told Mr. McCall about his wife and the rat poison, Mr. McCall changed his behavior and started to be kind to his wife(Explain why).

In conclusion, these events lead to a happier relationship in which Mr. McCall only(מיותר) spoke nicely to her, taking(gr. - took) her to (the)movies and (to) picnics etc(מיותר). In my opinion, this relationship was strange from the beginning and very unclear. While reading the story I couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen but i was extremely surprised to read the ending. I believe Mrs. McCall was very smart and crafty by causing her husband to change his behavior with nothing more than an illusion(what illusion, please explain more clearly).

It's good, but some of your statements need further clarification.
(88)
Daphna

HomeWork

The 11 year old Ben Berrafato, has raised an interesting question regarding the value of doing homework. According to Berrafato, homework is another form of slavery, since it is given without the students' permission, and therefore, homework should be against the law. Berrafato's claim present the issue of whether it is necesary to give student's homework or not.

First, homework gives you the opportunity to review and reinforce the studies material.
Several studies have shown that in order to really internalize a fact it must be reviewed over and over again. Furthemore, doing more practice can give you more confidence, in terms of understanding the matirial. Finally, doing homework is a chance for the student to see if he has difficulties in understanding the different subjects he is learning in class.

To sum up, homework is not such bad thing for the student because it reaforces his knowledge and his understanding. In my opinion, I would suggest that teachers give homework but not too much because, after all, students need some free time.

Well done! It's short, but very well put. (95)
Daphna.

Space exploration!, or not?

Since the late 1950's and (the) early 1960's the question of space travel and exploration has been debated. As technology developed, the issue whether to go out into space and spend so much time or whether to stay here, on eath(sp. - Earth) and explore earth has been interesting(gr. - interested) the researchers for a long time.

On the plus side there are advantages to space exploroution, such as searching for knowledge and expanding the bounds of the human experience. Furthemore, the search for knowledge may improve the quality of our lives like, for example finding water on other planets.


On the minus side(On the other hand) , going into space is a terrible waste of time, money and human resources because the spaceship's take-off needs a lot of fuel which cost(gr.) a lot of money . In addition, traveling to space is very dangerous and may risk human lives. For example, the late astronaut Ilan Ramon who lost his life in the 2003 delegation called "Colombia". Moreover, what's the point in space exploration if there are so many things we have not explored yet on Earth, such as finding new anergy (sp.) sources, a cure for Cancer and AIDS, or finding a solution to global warming.

In conclusion, I think that the main question is why not keep on exploring life on Earth instead of space. However, space exploration is important and so I suggest to explore space without risking human lives by sending robots that can explore the(מיותר) space.

This is better. Good work! (90)

Daphna.

What would you do in a situation like peer pressure?

Most teenagers are exposed to a social phenomenon called peer pressure.
Peer pressure usually stems from a(מיותר) moral questions of either doing what you think is right, or doing something your peers pressure you to do(into doing).

Whether the peer pressure results in drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes or cutting classes, teens give in to bad behavior because they want to be like their friends, to look "cool" or to fit in. Others give in to peer pressure because they are afraid that other kids may make fun of them in a(מיותר) case they won't go along with the others.

It is possible to resist peer pressure and say "no". Paying attention to your own values and emotions can help you to know what is the right thing to do. Also, you can choose your friends carefully and try to be near people who don't pressure you to do things you know are wrong.

To sum up, I think that although peer pressure is a social manifestation that may happen to all of us, it's important to stay calm at this moment of the pressure(phr.) and to think what will occur if you will (no "will" after "if") say "no", or in case that you will(מיותר) just walk away. I believe that every one of us can escape the situation of peer pressure..

Now It's a great essay. Well done! (95)
Daphna.

The War In Gaza: Life is not about how hard you can hit

Do you think you know how it is? Feel. Try to feel. Come on, Just try.
You can't. Can you? Do you know why? This is because you have no idea how it is to be under Katyusha rockets for 8 years! You don't have any clue how it is to feel that no ones care about you! You have no idea!
Nobody in Israel wants it to happen, but we have no choice!
The Hamas thinks it is tough, and it thinks it can keep hitting us. But it's not about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. But we had enough of this!
So now? Well, now is our turn to hit.
Don't you ever judge us! Ever, until you feel it yourselves, and I hope you won't.